using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
