Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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