She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
