What did we do last night that was yellow?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
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We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
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In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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