are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
the raccoons are back...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
