Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
