Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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