My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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