Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
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I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
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Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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