Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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