Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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