question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize