When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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