she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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