If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Less talking, more tequila
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
