Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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