I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
