He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
