Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Rumble strips road head = magical
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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