Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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