This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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