with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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