She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize