I just saw a hot homeless man
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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