I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You were trust falling into bushes
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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