so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
