I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
