PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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