So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
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OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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