Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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