so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
