I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
