Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize