Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
