I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
