went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
