just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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