By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
and you fell through a lawn chair
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
