It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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