Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
