Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
