white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
