Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
