Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we're making bets on your personal life
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
