I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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