Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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