D3 body, D1 cock
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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