I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
