woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize