I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
