3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
