One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
