Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Non-Jews are for practice
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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