hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
