Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
