I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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