I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
