Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
