Apparently you make a good broom.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
