I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
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