Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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