I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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