dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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